2nd verse same as the 1st

I knew when I began this thing that I would not consistently keep it up, but I had no idea that I would take this long to post my second entry. Oh well.

Sometimes I forget how much I love music. That sounds really stupid, but it's a Goddamn revelation to me.

So I've been thinking about the whole desert island disc thing, and I've come to the conclusion that that's a completely moronic endeavor. First, it's a completely artificially constructed notion that in no way is applicable to my life. If I'm on a desert island, I want my one and only question to be, "Where's the food and water?"

The thing is, I am not a complete fool, and I do understand the intent of the question, which is, "What albums define you?" This question is a slippery slope which leads to other questions, such as: "At which point in my life." Am I required to list songs according to importance to my own person-building, or ones I really love right now, or maybe albums that I think I wouldn't get tired of, but mostly play the role of background music.

Anyway, I just made a list of even more stupid questions to answer a merely silly one. So here goes:

I'm allowing myself 11. Here's the list as of today. These maybe aren't my favorites of all time, or the most important to me or anyone else, but these are the albums that keep me from going completely insane.

Bach-Goldberg Variations-Murry Perahia
Van Morrison-Astral Weeks
Neutral Milk Hotel-In The Aeroplane Over the Sea
Kronos Quartet-Early Music
Erik Satie-Complete Piano Works-Aldo Ciccolini
Bela Bartok-Concerto for Orchestra-Chicago Symphony Orchestra
Jethro Tull-Thick as a Brick
Bob Dylan-Blood on the Tracks
Wilco-Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
Neil Young-Everybody Knows This is Nowhere
John Coltrane-A Love Supreme

I'm sure I left out some good ones, but I had to stop at eleven.

A political

It's not that I don't have strong opinions about the way things should be run, it's just that I've more or less given up on humanity in general. I think we are all capable of displaying 'goodness' on an individual basis, but something happens when you get more that three of us together, and it all goes to shit. I'm more curious about how we maintain the power structures we create to make ourselves feel safe. Religion, government structures, etc. are ubiquitous. The fact that they are contradictory, reactionary, and inhumane is not new information. What we believe is nowhere near as interesting as how we believe. Why are some cultures iconoclastic? How does a culture define genius (if at all)? Why do some societies hold in esteem the individual, while others embrace the group? Do mass consuming societies replace the unique object with an abundance of variety?

I often wonder if our destructive nature is not some sort of regulatory system. As our self-awareness and adaptability allows us to leap over natural safeguards that keep the population down, I wonder if this will have a positive or negative effect on our species. Are people who are born with defects such as poor eyesight (such as myself), or who acquire diseases now treatable skewing the gene pool? I don't know. Part of me wants to believe that we are all equal and necessary, that there is some kind of larger plan. The other part of me is kind of happy to see all of us getting rid of each other so quickly. We don't seem to be doing such a good job taking care of each other and the planet. We may all be better off just disappearing altogether. Other species seem to be on much better behavior than we are.

The thing is, I'm not really a negative person. I'm not nihilistic. Nihilism requires a purpose to negate. I view the world as simply ‘is.’ We create our own goals and needs to keep ourselves alive, not the other way around. I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing. I have no real way to comprehend oblivion, and I don’t want to begin anytime soon. I would much rather exist. I’m not, however, denying structure. I just believe that structure is relative. Like in physics, some things behave one way in certain situations and differently in others (like how light behaves around intense gravity compared to low gravity). These rules are consistent within certain contexts but irrelevant in a different situation. The universe is way too big a place for one set of rules.